Sometime in the month of December, I thought to myself.. that life is not happening. Happening in an enjoyment way and also in a not working out way! And i said no one else is going to change the situation for me & no one else is going to do my share of work n retrospection for it.
That day and Today.. Things have moved, things have been better.. I have been happy, We have been better.. My confusion has reduced, my temper is in control… My cold heart has become a bit warmer… I am a bit sorted than earlier… So the trip started working for me right after i booked for it!!
Bidway, I go on my first solo trip on coming Saturday, 20th Feb 2016 to 3 untraveled places in Uttarakhand, India. For 8 complete days.
For 8 complete days, living alone looked like an impossible thing. Well it still does. I wont lie, I am having a cold feet since ystd evening. And I did have my crying session in front of my husband in the morning!
Its difficult! Leaving alone, managing alone, staying alone, ordering food alone, eating alone, sleeping alone… And specifically not being able to talk about all small little things.. At least as of now, it does look damn difficult!
A friend of mine said the other day, ‘If you like to be alone, you will enjoy it.’ But the point is, I don’t know what I like. Being with someone for 10 years makes you forget what exactly gives you self-satisfaction and pure happiness. Because everything you do, you do it together. And you always have someone at arm’s length, so you never have to stretch your hand beyond a distance.
I call myself an independent girl..woman, whatever! But since the time i have booked myself for a solo trip, I can see all my dependencies on my husband, my comfort at home, my parents and my everyday routine. I have become a bit considerate and warmer towards everyone whom I am dependent on.
The thing is.. I am going to stumble upon few things, I am going to feel lost many times, I am going to regret going solo a couple of times, I am going to miss home food many many times.. and most of all staying without my husband and sleeping without him by my side.. is gonna be the toughest thing ever.. Everything that can make me uncomfortable, may happen. I may not like my own company..
But that’s the point… The reason I want to go solo is be comfortable with myself..is to realize a few things I want in my life Vs. I think i want..is to unshackle myself from the things i cling on to or the decisions i just don’t take at all..
All said and done.. I just want to be !!
P.S. I am going to post my travel’s photos on Instagram , Follow me there!