What the fuck is going on? I have been asking this question way too often these day.
It is that fucking time of the year when all I am doing is work and all I am complaining about is work! It’s been busy but for all the wrong reasons. Getting dumped under the work that you don’t like or which is not in your so called KRA is usual. But getting dumped under an utterly bureaucratic system with all the more bureaucratic human beings is just horrible.
Just because you are the fucking Odd girl out – you gotta take the heat. It’s no one’s responsibility so its yours baby. Don’t you know that rule.
Become like them or stay out of it. Sadly both options are out of question for me.
I am tired. Tired of doing work which is not mine, Tired of coordinating with bunch of fuck-all idiots who are irresponsible, Tired of being the odd girl out, Tired of being the one who cares, Tired of taking a blow on my conscious all day, Tired of not being able to spend any ME time whatsoever, Tired of not getting 10 minutes to think about future or my dreams, Tired of being the Responsible one, Tired of sacrificing my schedule – full of different flavours, Tired of doing more work but yet getting no appreciation, Tired of suffering under the work done is more than how much I get paid scenario, Tired of having bosses who care but don’t do anything to change the situation, Tired of being dependent on bunch of nodding heads, Tired of letting go of my levy to do what I want in a day, Tired of not being able to take an off from work and just fucking read a good book all day.
I am tired. God knows about the toll my married life might be taking because of all this. Uggghhhh, I am just tired of disappointing myself and coming to a place where I ask myself – What the fuck is going on?
The only good thing about being freakishly occupied is forgetting about the other things that hurt. May be for time-being, but it helps.
I am so so done. So done.