Eighteen days back, I said to myself I will not write anymore!
But I still went ahead and wrote something that came to my mind instinctively , Girl in the Mirror!
Well you saw the blog, its a package of explosives. I read it few times after publishing it, and the more I read it, the more I realize my writing is Me. It cant have a different flavor than my life right now.
So I decided I will not write unless I’m in a sane state of mind. But it’s not working out. Nothing is working out.
Not writing not being Me. Well who knows who am I anymore anyway!
For a very long time, your life runs in a certain way
Your daily routine, inspiration, support system is dependent
The element in your sanity is based on certain things
Your Love life, relationships, friendships are occupied with certain people
The person you have become is because of how and with whom you spent time
Your future is predictable as today will have tomorrow with same all of this
But then it changes
It falls apart, Its shattered into pieces, Its just fucking not there anymore
There’s only vacuum
With absolute killing Silence and heart-breaking noises in mind
And just one thought – I want to runaway
Tell me, where do I find my inspiration to go on. It has gone, that me is gone.
Am I not coping up? Yes I’m coping up, but I’m not even halfway through.
So this post is just an attempt to see if I can still put a pen to the paper. Forgive me for the rawness of it.
P.S. However surprising it may sound, I wrote the first chapter of my novel. Mark my words only the first. But now I know what I want to write about!